steven yi :: music

The morning light in SF brings back fond memories.

I was interviewed this weekend on my music software blue and using the Netbeans Platform to develop it:

http://netbeans.dzone.com/nb-csound-music-composer

Many thanks to Geertjan Wielenga for inviting me to do this interview!

This morning I awoke with the brilliant light of the sun coming through the window.  It was strange to see such bright light as it it has been quite some time since I last remember experiencing it like this.  I think I will always associate this kind of intense sun and deeply rich blue skies with California…

Out of coffee at home, I walked across the street and picked up a coffee and sat outside briefly just to sit and take in the sun. The temperature was cool but refreshing and paired nicely with the warm light.  Wanting to move a little bit before having to start work, I decided to take a small, slow walk around the block before returning home to start my work day.

Walking slowly, the gentle breeze was a stark contrast to the gusting winds of the weekend.  The leaves and the grass were a a vivid green.  It was very a very peaceful morning walk.

I have been thinking that lately I have not been satisfied with my job. The work is fine but there are a few people who have become very difficult to work with and I find myself becoming too often frustrated and upset over it all. I simply do not like to be this way. The cycles of frustration and acceptance have certainly gotten old, and most evenings as of late I’ve found myself with little energy or desire to work on more meaningful things (music and other personal projects).

Yesterday I heard sad news that my good friend’s father passed away in his sleep. It was a bit of a shock as I had known his father and remember him quite fondly as good humored and loving person…

I know my situation with work could be better, that I could not get so upset and just let things go, but when it goes in circles it is exhausting. I had already thought that my energies would be better spent focused again on music and other meaningful endeavors. Thinking of my friend’s father’s passing has only highlighted how quick life seems to go by, as well as how uninterested I have become in my daily job life as of late.

For now I have some pressing editing work to do with the Csound Journal. I hope in some ways that working on that and moving on back to other work on my software “blue” will help me to refocus and regain some perspective. I will certainly need to work on not allowing my job to get the better of me.

Time goes by slowly here in Rochester, and I am starting to feel time slowly wearing on me. I feel a sense that I need to make changes in my daily life. Reading poetry and taking walks while listening to Feldman has been exceptional as of late, and I am sure it will become clear soon what I should do next and how I can make the changes to become satisfied once again with my working day.